Middle School (Junior High when I went through) was the most abusive 3 years of my life. Comparatively speaking my experience pales when you consider the kind of literal torture some kids around the world grow up around. Nonetheless, I was a skinny kid whose ears stuck out and washed his hair every other day (still am except for the hair!). And I was an easy target for bigger kids to pick on and laugh at.
The middle school boys in my church remind me of those times, and make me aware that it isn't just the skinny kids who get bullied. It's every kid. For that matter, every kid becomes the bully at some point too. The tortured become the torturers in an effort to survive, preserve power or something like that. Maybe it's our culture's story of "survival of the fittest." I don't know.
What I do know is that it hurts particularly to see Christians bullying other Christians. I've struggled to know what to do about this. I've appealed to "love one another." "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "Forgive them for they know not what they do." "Run away." "Consider the consequences." "Stand up for each other." I may have been more successful convincing a rattle snake not to bite.
The most promising story I have heard in a long time came from a 3rd grade boy named Roy who was in class one day as the teacher asked kids to pair up with another student for reading. The class quickly paired up until there was one kid left. This was the kid who was known for not only hurting other kids, but physically lashing out at the teacher at times. As this boy began to realize no one was picking him to be his reading partner he began to get irritated and loud. Then Roy stood up and said, "I'll be your partner."
What gave Roy the capacity to utter those four words?
I still need to get Roy's answer. But here's my observation. Maybe Roy has learned to take for granted that he is a part of the Body of Christ, and that is just the kind of obvious thing that Christ's Body would say. Roy knows that he is part of the Body of Christ through his participation in Christ's Body, the church, and through participating in the Body of Christ during the Lord's Supper.
He's able to say, "I'll be your partner" to a bully because he knows that through sharing the bread and cup at the Lord's table, God has already made him partners with Jesus and all those whom Jesus loves. He might just as easily have said, "I'm already your partner."
I don't think we can learn that kind of stuff apart from the worship habits of the church. Mainly because our culture's habits teach us that it's "Every person for themselves, unless they've been nice to you and you're feeling particularly generous that day." As we practice the grace of the Lord's Supper, so we develop the capacity to deal with the bully as Christ's Body - be they in us or in another.
So to make a long story short, my middle school boys and I are going to be breaking bread and sharing the cup a lot more on Sunday nights. Bullies beware!
