In our recent worship services, while reflecting on Jeremiah’s call story, Pastor Dave posed the question: “What do you suppose God wants you to be now and when you grow up?” This was aimed primarily at our youth, but served as a thoughtful reminder to the entire congregation that God calls each of us to serve him in different ways during every age and stage of our lives. For the past three years, I have been exploring a call to ordained ministry within the United Methodist Church as a Deacon. When I think about how this journey has unfolded, I don’t have a ‘burning bush’ moment I can point to. Hearing a call to ordained ministry has evolved over time, being revealed one step at a time, with just enough insight for the next step. In many ways, it has mimicked those long family road trips. And along the way, I have discovered that my call is really twofold: who God is calling me to be now, and who God is calling me to be in the future. The phrase now and not yet comes to mind.
Those of you who know my background might be wondering how a Jewish girl ends up becoming a Methodist in the first place, and then goes on to discern a call to ordained ministry. A road less traveled indeed! Well, the simple answer is grace, and lots of it! When I first arrived in a United Methodist Church ten years ago, I was extremely broken emotionally and spiritually. At seventeen, I had accepted Christ as my Savior. But by the end of my twenties, I needed much more than a shining white knight to save the day, or a golden ticket to heaven ‘when this life was over.’ I needed (and wanted) to be fully transformed from the inside out; I was desperate for a life of faith that I could sink my teeth into and be made truly new. The message of grace (in its fullness), a theological cornerstone of the United Methodist Church, enabled me to encounter the unconditional love of God in such a unique and deeply profound way that it changed my walk with God forever. Learning to incorporate the means of grace into my life– worshipping, sacraments, serving, praying, studying, giving, fasting, and such– has continued to mold and shape me. Ten years later, I can honestly say that who I am now is closer to who God has created me to be than ever before. For now, God has called me to be a wife (to the most amazing husband ever), a mother and homeschool teacher to three wonderful children, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an artistic director, a member of the praise team at Spring of Life along with other leadership roles, and a seminarian. All of which would be impossible without the grace of God.
It’s no secret that worship, especially worship arts are a passion for me. For the past five years, I have been blessed to be the Artistic Director of Cambridge School of Ballet, running all of our classes out of Spring of Life UMC. During this time, God has given me a vision for redeeming the arts by using it as a tool for discipleship while making a difference in the lives of less fortunate children around the world. Our logo incorporates the tag line, “Pursuing passion with a purpose.” I have sought to live that out that purpose through the M6:8 Mission (based on Micah 6:8) to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. If you are interested, you can learn more about the M6:8 Mission at www.csoballet.org.
Ultimately, serving at Spring of Life UMC and directing the ballet school these past five years have been catalysts for discerning a call to ordained ministry. Yet, I would be misleading you if I didn’t admit that this has been a slow and lengthy process. Why? Because I have been fearful and resistant, stubbornly hiding behind a long list of excuses. Yet, God has continued to call, and I have continually sought to answer that call. Why Deacon? I heard it said once that “worship equals change,” meaning whenever and wherever God is worshipped, redeeming change is inevitable. For many of us, Sunday worship (or time spent at the church itself) is the only time we experience this kind of transformation. But as the people of God, we are called to live a life of worship Monday through Sunday, redeeming this world for His glory. Often, the challenge becomes bridging the gap between the faith we celebrate on Sundays and the reality of our everyday, ordinary lives. St. Francis of Assisi is credited with saying, “Preach the gospel always, when necessary use words.” This is probably one of my favorite quotes. If we are going to be agents of Kingdom change in this broken world, we must learn to be the gospel message in all that we do. Using my gifts and experiences, I believe that God is calling me to support the worship life of the church, bridging the gap between the church and the world by leading and helping others discover how God is calling them to live out their faith – doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly one step at a time.
In June of 2011, I started seminary classes at Asbury Theological Seminary in Orlando, FL. I am currently working towards a Masters of Arts in Theological Studies, with the intention of potentially going on to pursue a PhD in the area of worship theology. In addition, I have completed the Ministry Inquiry Process with Pastor Carolyn. I plan to enter the Candidacy process by attending the retreat in January 2013. I welcome your prayers as I continue this journey - that I may continue to discern God’s call in my life and to have the courage to follow where He leads. Likewise, I pray that God will sustain and encourage you in your journey as you discover how He is calling you now and in the future. Whatever God calls you to, wherever He leads you, I am confident of two things: it will stretch you beyond your wildest imagination, and (thankfully) He won’t stop calling. Praise God for amazing grace!
You can contact Lenora via email at this address: csoballet@yahoo.com
