A couple of weeks ago I read an article that suggested the church fails when we fail to teach people how to fail well. It was this line that caught my attention: "Christians need leaders - and institutions - to train us in how to fail."
Train people in how to fail? Admit it. That's liberating! If there's one thing most of us really think we are good at, it is failure.
To be sure, none of us want to be good at the "F" word, but we seem to come by it naturally. We don't even need to practice. And yet, to some extent we are all fearful of failure.
In a recent article on the "F" word, Kathleen Parker observed that our obsession with success and our fear of failure has trickled down to ever-younger humans, our children, at great cost . . . . We're so afraid our kids won't measure up that we drive them crazy with overbooked schedules and expectations, and then create a sense of entitlement by insisting on assigning blame elsewhere when their performance is lackluster.
Why are we so afraid for our kids to fail? Why are we so afraid to fail ourselves?
When the church becomes yet another place where demands are made . . . When we drive people crazy with burdens too heavy to bear and people get the subtle message that they are not good enough, we are no different from the rest of the world.
So how can the church be the church? Train people in how to fail. Teach people to be successful failures.
The church is uniquely equipped to offer ways for people to fail well. Look at Jesus to begin with. He died a miserable failure. He died in poverty, misunderstood, deserted by his closest friends, falsely accused, and mocked. These are hardly qualities that successful leaders aspire to. But what did Jesus do with the reality of his failure? He said, "Into Thy hands I commit my spirit." Our failure too often drives us from God and one another because of guilt or shame. But Jesus teaches us to resist that double failure by drawing near to God.
A reality of failure is a real confusion about what to do next. When we fail we often head back to old habits whether they are good or bad. The dejected and guilt ridden disciples went back to their life of fishing after Jesus' death. The good news is that when we don't have a clue, Jesus pursues us. Remember the Bible says that we didn't choose God, God chose us.
While our failure often scares us off into hiding, our failure doesn't put God off. God comes after us in ways that are shocking - like that father in the prodigal son story. We just as soon let that young man get what he deserves than pull out the party poppers like his father did. But that's what God does with our failure. No finger wagging and shame laced speeches, God comes after us with his embrace.
This brings me to the ultimate "F" word: Forgiveness. The father forgave his successful failure of a son. And Jesus says to all who fail him, "Forgive them for they know not what they do." Embrace forgiveness and you can embrace failure as a reality of our human condition. Embrace forgiveness and you can embrace your limits. Embrace forgiveness and you become a successful failure.
Go ahead and do it! Embrace the "F" word.
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